


The birds and the bees

by lightly



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki, SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 14:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightly/pseuds/lightly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Taemin's 17th birthday approaches Yunho and Jaejoong (well mainly Yunho) take Key and Onew aside to tell then what they can expect as their magnae comes of age next year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The birds and the bees

Jaejoong thinks that they are barely more than children. Jaejoong swears he doesn’t remember ever being that young.

Onew looks tense but serious and oddly studious. To Jaejoong it looks like the kid is a heartbeat away from whipping out a notebook and taking actual notes.

Key looks bored. Jaejoong can relate to that. Key fusses with the buttons on his shirt, he fusses with his hair, he fusses with the frill on his jeans – hey Jaejoong had a pair like those once. Jaejoong watches as Key starts to fuss with the buttons on Onew’s shirt, watches as Key straightens Onew’s scarf, watches as Key flicks a stray lock of hair out of Onew’s eyes. Jaejoong watches as Onew just puts up with it. It’s really kind of funny – Jaejoong thinks – seeing his own younger self and Yunho’s younger self reflected back at him in these boys.

Jaejoong still swears he never looked that young though.

“Right,” Yunho finally says. “We all know why we’re here, don’t we?”

Onew nods even though it’s clear that he has no clue what they are here for.

“Uh..” says Key. “No, not really.”

Jaejoong facepalms. This is a really, really bad idea. Jaejoong can’t believe that he let Yunho drag him back from Japan for this. None of then have any time for this, for this…fuckery.

“We’re here,” Yunho says. “We’re here for you.”

God, Jaejoong would give his right eye for a hole in the world right now. A nice big hole that swallow him up and get him the hell away from here.

He’s granted no such reprieve.

Dammit.

“Very soon,” Yunho continues. “Very soon you guys are going to be going through a very stressful and trying time. I know.” Yunho stops, turns and looks at Jaejoong a little guiltily. I mean _we_ know all about it.”

Yunho stressed the ‘we’ like it’s some kind of epic revelation. Jaejoong just wants to be left well out of it.

“Stress!” Yunho say. “Constant worry, waiting up till all hours. Not knowing when the next attack will come, not knowing when the axe will fall.”

Yunho is too caught up in his train of thought (or lack thereof) to notice how Key leans in close to Onew, how Key places a hand gently on Onew’s thigh. Yunho doesn’t notice how serious Key looks when he asks Onew in a low whisper:

“And how is that any different to what we go through now?”

Jaejoong tries to hold back a laugh; it comes out as an unattractive snort instead.

Yunho doesn’t notice.

Key, however, looks up and catches Jaejoong’s eye. Jaejoong shrugs and smiles and mouths ‘I’m so sorry about this.’

Key smiles weakly.

Yunho doesn’t notice.

Jaejoong is at a loss as to what to do next until Yunho pulls him to one side. Yunho looks nervous, worried. Jaejoong casts a glance over at the other two boys. Key has gone back to fussing with his buttons, the frill on his jeans, his hair and then he fusses with Onew’s buttons, Onew’s scarf, Onew’s hair.

“This is not going well.” Yunho says.

Jaejoong wants to say “Ya think, dumbass.” But he doesn’t, he just nods.

“Right,” Yunho says. Says like he has just had the best idea in the whole world. And maybe in the merry little land of Yunho he has just had the best idea in the whole world. “I’ll take Onew, talk to him alone, man to man. You take Key and…”

“If you say and talk woman to woman I am going to break your arm.”

“Okay…um..let’s forget that plan then.”

“lets.”

They turn back to Onew and Key. Both boys look a little disappointed. Jaejoong thinks that might be because they might have thought they’d been forgotten about and as such could have made a hasty getaway.

Jaejoong kind of really wants to distract Yunho so the boys can flee, it might be kinder for them in the long run.

“When boys get to a certain age they can be…difficult.” Yunho says. Jaejoong can tell that Yunho is trying to keep his voice diplomatic but also a little dramatic. Jaejoong wonders just how big a crime murder is anyway. Maybe if you think of it as less like taking someone’s life and more like doing humanity a great big favour it wouldn’t be so bad.

“We went though the same thing with Changmin.” Yunho continues. “Partly my fault I’ll admit. As the leader I should have kept a firmer control of him.” Yunho jabs a finger at Onew. “You, take note.”

The kid actually sits up straighter and now looks like he’s paying attention and not just pretending to. This time it’s Key who facepalms.

“One important lesson I have learned and that is to never let Changmin just go off and do whatever he wants to do. He worked his way through half of Super Junior before I put a stop to it.”

Jaejoong winces, coughs and suddenly finds a spot on the floor incredibly fascinating.

“What?” Yunho asks.

“It was more like two thirds.” Jaejoong say very quickly, very quietly. “And that’s counting them as a group of 15.”

Yunho looks as if he might faint.

“Wow,” Says Key, his voice low. “Which ones didn’t he…?”

Yunho makes a strange noise in the back of his throat, an almost animalistic sound. Under normal circumstances Jaejoong might find this hot as hell…right now though it’s just scary. Key doesn’t finish his question.

“I don’t know.” Jaejoong says. “And I’m not sure I want to know either.”

“How do you know in the first place?” Yunho whines.

“Leeteuk told me.”

“How did Leeteuk know?”

“Kangin told him.”

“How did Kangin know?” Yunho’s face is almost completely white now; Jaejoong starts to seriously worry for his blood pressure. “And why did no one tell me?”

Jaejoong looks over at Key and Onew fully intending to gesture at then that they should get the hell out of here while they can. But even Key is rapt with attention now.

Jaejoong takes a long steadying breath.

“It was right after you barged in on Leeteuk ranting and raving about him letting his band members take advantage of your magnae. Leeteuk was really upset.” Jaejoong pauses and studies Yunho’s face and sure enough there is a little hint of guilt. Good. “Kangin went to Eunhyuk and sort of held him upside down by the ankles until he confessed to, well, anything and everything.”

“But why tell you? Why didn’t Leeteuk tell me this?”

Jaejoong thinks that sometimes Yunho is just too precious and naïve. Sometimes Jaejoong just wants to wrap Yunho up in a blanket and keep him safe from the world.

Jaejoong briefly considers informing Yunho of the other thing Eunhyuk confessed to…the little competition he had with Donghae as to who could ‘de-flower’ the most band magnaes. But he decides that this might be too distressing for both Yunho and Onew to hear right now.

“Um..guys?” Onew says, his voice soft and cautious, almost like he’s afraid to say anything at all. Jaejoong doesn’t really blame him. “It’s good of you to worry about us and want to help but…” Onew casts a glance at Key, looking for some help.

“But Taemin’s actually quite sensible.” Key says, taking up the narrative.

“Minho’s the one to be concerned about.” Onew says.

“Yeah, I mean he’s already slept with Changmin and I am pretty sure there have been…”

The words just trip off Key’s tongue and it’s clear that he doesn’t actually realize what he’s saying until he catches a look at Onew’s horrified face and his words falter and taper off. Key clamps his hands over his mouth, but it’s too little too late.

“He…what?” Onew stutters.

Key looks at Jaejoong. Jaejoong just facepalms again and shakes his head.

“How do you know this?” Onew croaks out, his face looks a little green.

Key shifts uncomfortably. “He came to ask me for some advice, it was a new experience for him.”

“Having sex?” Onew asks, his voice a little too high and a little too hopeful.

Key can’t look him in the eye. “…Being on bottom.”

It’s quite cute really – Jaejoong thinks – how both Yunho and Onew have the exact same expression. A sort of mix between shock, horror and despair. Jaejoong really wants to laugh, he knows it’s a bad idea, but he laughs anyway.

“What’s so funny?” Yunho demands. “This is terrible, how can you laugh, how can you find this….you KNEW!”

Yunho looks so scandalized that Jaejoong just laughs harder. Finally he composes himself and turns to the two younger boys.

“I think that’s enough.” He says. “I’m sure we’ve all learned a valuable lesson from this.” Jaejoong starts to usher Onew and Key towards the door. “Just lock Taemin in his room until he’s 21 and you’ll be just fine. It might already be too late but you might want to lock Minho up too…Just not in the same room, okay.”

He’s almost managed to push the boys out of the door when he turns and sees Yunho standing alone looking so dejected and so fucking young that it makes his gut twist and his heart ache.

“It’s alright, Yunho.” Jaejoong says, going over to him and curling and arm around his waist. “Changmin didn’t turn out too bad. Sure he was a gigantic slut for a while but he’s grown out of that now.”

Yunho sniffs. Jaejoong smiles and reaches up to run his fingers through Yunho’s hair.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Jaejoong leans into Yunho and Yunho closes his arms around him. They stay like that for a few minutes, comfortable and safe with each other.

“Awwww.” Jaejoong hears Onew say. “Hey, Kibum. Do you think we’ll still be that cute when we get to their age?”

Jaejoong knows he should be offended but Key’s giggle fit is contagious, taking hold of first Key and then Onew and then Jaejoong. Yunho, of course, is immune.

“What’s so funny?” He asks. “No really guys…what?”

 

.End


End file.
